On Dating Apps and the Death of Settling


Remember when it was really special if you memorized someone’s phone number?

What if we made that level of attention the rule again?

Memorizing a string of numbers as a way to show someone that you care enough about them enough to pretty much never not have a way to contact them, even if you’d been fighting for the past couple of days and you told yourself you were going to let them get back to you.

That’s the problem with dating apps. If you’re attractive, have good hair, and are reasonably informed about how little you know, you’ll have at least a couple options. You start getting picky about the dumbest things that you would have overlooked if you didn’t have multiple choices at any given moment.

Also, you don’t have to memorize phone numbers.

It’s an artificially induced case of decision paralysis.

Oh she loves sports? Get out of here. Music I don’t like? Pass. She likes that TV show? That’s such a dumb show.”

You start thinking that the perfect other is out there. Any flaw or trait that doesn’t match your idea of the person you think you could have a successful relationship with is an excuse to keep looking. After all, it’s about finding the person you resonate most with, right? And watch out for those red flags, that’s a sure sign that the relationship will fail at some undetermined point in the future.

Hats off to all of you who got that ring and are publicly committed to sticking with that person. Even better if it’s everything you ever hoped it would be.

It doesn’t worry me too much, but I’m wondering if I might be looking forever. Or at least as long as I’m using these damn apps.

Aaron Dowd

P.S. The new album (2017) from Iron Chic is so sad but it makes me really happy: